The year is coming to a close. From excitement for the upcoming holidays, to stress over unfinished tasks and unmet goals, we may be feeling a range of different emotions. As a Psychotherapist, I want to offer a fresh take on how to navigate this unique time with more compassion and curiosity.

First, let’s reflect curiously, rather than judgmentally.

When we look back at the past year, it can be easy to focus on what didn’t go as planned. Instead of falling into a cycle of self-criticism, try approaching things with curiosity. Ask open-ended questions to help you see the bigger picture. Instead of saying, “Why didn’t I achieve my goals?” ask yourself, “What circumstances helped or hindered my progress?” or “What have I learned about myself through this process?”.

Remember to acknowledge your growth, even if you experienced setbacks. Reflect on experiences that didn’t go as expected to help you understand and identify skills you have gained and lessons you have learned.

Don’t forget to celebrate all wins – small or big. We often downplay even the smallest of victories. In light of this, make a list of moments where you acted in alignment with your values or did something that made you feel good about yourself.

Second, renew your year with purpose, not pressure.

The new year tends to bring thoughts of resolutions and change. Consider this an opportunity to reframe your year purposefully rather than as a mere checklist of must-dos. A good way to do this is to identify what energizes you. Think about the activities, places, or people that made you feel more alive this year and ask yourself how you can incorporate more of this energy into your life moving forward.

Consider how to use your time more intentionally by examining what traditions or expectations serve your wellbeing. If certain plans feel more draining than joyful, consider revising how much time you invest or skip them altogether, if possible.

Rather than jump into the new year as a new leaf, it can be meaningful to create a ritual for renewal. Engage in a practice that symbolizes letting go of the past year and inviting in the new. This could be writing a letter to yourself, creating an art piece, or spending a quiet evening journaling.

Using Self-Compassion as a Tool

Many people feel pressured to assess and judge their productivity over the year and determine whether they have made any significant accomplishments. It’s important to remember that you are not defined solely by what you have achieved. This is where self-compassion comes into the picture. Practicing self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness you would offer someone you care deeply about.

When the self-critic starts talking, challenge it with curiousity. Respond to statements of, “I should have done more”, with statements such as, “I did my best with what I knew and had at the time”. The self-critic may also drag you through the “comparison traps” – something we see all too often in social media. Remind yourself that everyone’s journey is unique and what you see online is often not the full story.

“Self-care” = Taking care of yourself, with intention.

The term “self-care” is thrown around a lot in today’s world. While it doesn’t have to be as extravagant as the media makes it out to be, it does need to be intentional. Here are some practices you can try out for this season:

Seasonal anchoring: This entails choosing a ritual or small task that helps you to connect to the present moment of winter or year-end, specifically. Anchoring is a way to ground you in simplicity rather than in overwhelm. How often do we find ourselves feeling the need to constantly do something or be somewhere? Switching things up and simply just being wherever you find yourself can be a great way to connect you to the here and now.

Revisit and revise your emotional boundaries: This can be a tough one. On the one hand, we can reflect on which commitments drain us and practice saying no without feeling guilty, wherever possible. On the other hand, factors such as cultural expectations or family dynamics can make it difficult to set overt boundaries. So, focusing on internal boundaries is an option.

Focusing on Internal Boundaries

Focusing on internal boundaries means reminding yourself that you don’t need to be responsible for everyone else, nor take on every comment, demand, or expectation. You can practice silently to yourself, “This doesn’t belong to me”.

When gatherings become overwhelming, excuse yourself for a few minutes. Whether it’s stepping outside, heading to the bathroom, or focusing on your breath, brief pauses can help you regulate your nervous system.

In settings where voicing boundaries can feel disrespectful, aim for emotional neutrality. For instance, respond with simple, calm phrases such as “I hear you”, “thank you for sharing”, or “that’s interesting”. This can prevent you from being pulled into conflict while holding your peace.

Prepare in advance how you’ll respond to potentially triggering situations. Identify a few trusted phrases or physical signals such as stepping aside to check your phone. This can give you the space to regain composure, even if it’s momentary.

Before heading into a challenging environment, take a moment to ground yourself. Reflect on what you can and can’t control and remind yourself that your value is not determined by how others perceive you.

Final thoughts

Ultimately, the end of the year doesn’t require perfection – only presence. Allow yourself to grieve, to celebrate, to rest, and to plan in whatever way feels most authentic to you. Renewal doesn’t come from doing more, but from connecting with yourself in a deeper, kinder way. The new year is not a blank slate for you to “fix” yourself, but an opportunity to continue growing, learning, and honoring your journey.

Wishing you a season of gentle reflection and compassion.